just a heads up, if i ever weird you out on any level, too friendly, too flirty, anything at all, i encourage you to be very vocal towards me about it to make sure i dont continue to make you uncomfortable. i dont want anyone feeling like im not someone they can trust and be comfortable around.

Normalize vocalizing discomfort.

Last weekend, a guy that at that point I’d known for about 24 hours called me “darling“. I could tell he didn’t mean anything by it, but I (politely) asked that he not do that because I don’t like it. He looked surprised and got a little defensive – “oh, I call all my friends that!“ “Okay, well I’d still rather you didn’t“ “oh well harumph harumph sorry”

whereas the exchange should have gone

“blah blah blah, darling“

“oh please don’t call me that, I don’t care for that“

“oh I’m sorry, I won’t do that“ CONTINUE CONVERSATION

Normalize vocalizing discomfort.

Yep yep yep. I’ve literally had people give me weird looks because I correct them when they try to shorten my name. My own family members don’t call me by any nickname.

You are allowed your boundaries.

When someone tells you “I’d rather you not do that”, they are telling you how to be a good person to them. Do not disparage that.

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